This morning I am at Ramla Beach which is one of my local beaches. It’s a privilege to come out and film around the island from time to time, iit reminds me to be grateful for what I have in life and it stated me thinking this morning about change and about how we all have the power and the internal resources to change any part of our life we want to.
Clients who come to see us for hypnotherapy follow a specific process when recovering from whatever disorder is troubling them and there is always a pivotal point of change. This is the moment they start taking responsibility for their life and stop looking for things to blame.
Often this happens just before they make the appointment for the free initial consultation, they have already decided that enough is enough and they are going to do something about it. Sometimes it can take two or three weeks for people to switch their mindset from looking for reasons, looking for the cause and something to blame, for example:
- A past relationships that made them how they are
- It’s hereditary, my mother or family have this
- Something happened at work – my job, my boss
- It’s the stress in my life
- Its the children, the partner
- I have no time for myself
Finding things to blame will not find you solutions and will not get you better. Whatever else we have going on in our life, the starting point for getting better is taking responsibility for how we’re dealing with our life and responsibility for the priorities we’re setting in our life.
We often say we haven’t got enough money or time to do the things we know we should be doing, but the reality is that those things we need or want to do are just not high enough on our priority list. We’ve given a higher priority to buying a bottle of wine and sitting in front of the TV every evening than we have to doing something positive for ourselves.
The reality of the difficulty for people is in changing habits and doing something different. Your primitive brain, the one that wants to keep you safe, will just keep you doing the same things over and over again – if your survived the day by having a glass of wine yesterday, then it must be safe, so it’s easier to sit down in front of the TV with a bottle of wine yet again than it is to start a new healthier routine.
This is all about you taking responsibility for your actions and not finding something or someone to blame or excuses, for example, you might use your partner as an excuse saying ‘oh well, this is what we do in the evening’ or your job or the children, saying you’re too tired to do something else.
Those are things to blame, when you take action and do something different, you will find you have more energy, interest, enthusiasm and zest for life.
If something has happened to you that your were not able to control – life does happen and things happen that we wouldn’t choose for ourselves – you are always in control of how you then deal with it and you can take responsibility for how you think and behave in the here and now and in the future.
Taking responsibility for yourself and how you’re dealing with things can start right now.
Stop looking for things to blame, stop looking in the problem or reasons, you wont find a solution in the problem, take responsibility for your future and make that pivotal step into recovery.
You will be pleased you did.