Do any of the following sentences resonate with you?

• Life is hard
• It feels like I’m trying to swim through treacle
• I’m just unlucky
• I’m a cup half empty type of person
• I never get the lucky breaks or opportunities
• I have a tendency to fall out with people
• I never get invited to parties or events
• People have to earn my trust
• Life is an uphill struggle

It could be that you are making life hard for yourself and repelling the good things in life without realising it.

Life is easy

Have you ever looked at those people who seem to be blessed with good luck with envy wondering what they have that you don’t – or when things gone wrong you think ‘why me?’

Everyone has tough things happen, unfortunate and unhappy circumstances, tragic events, loss and hardship at times, but how you approach life will determine how these things affect you and whether they overwhelm you or make you a stronger more resilient person.

When you are doing the right things in life it has a way of falling into place effortlessly, opportunities appear in your path and people gravitate to you.  If life is a struggle for you it is likely that you are trying to live it in a way that isn’t right for you.  There will be an easier way, but you only know what you know so to widen your perspectives you need to invest in yourself.

Life is a mirror

We reap what we sow – you’ve probably heard that expression, but do you realise you are living that statement every second of every day and in every interaction you have with other people.  How you approach life and other people will be reflected back at you.  If you approach your day in a negative frame of mind, then you will notice the negative things that happen over and above all the positive things.  If you believe life is hard, then you are right, it is.

It’s what you don’t say

Over 70% of communication is non verbal.  As with all animals we are adept at reading body language and so is everyone around us. Tone of voice, how you carry yourself, if you hold your head up and look at someone in the eyes, if you face is relaxed or tense, if you are genuinely listening to what someone is saying or inside your own head focusing on the thoughts ground around in there will all be communicated loud and clear to other people.  They may not be able to consciously translate what you are transmitting, but you will come across as unapproachable if that’s how you are feeling or if you are feeling happy, open and engaging, then that will also be transmitted loud and clear.  What’s more, your mood is infectious so if you want to be a likeable person who has lots of friends, others like being with and will do anything for, then you have to be that person yourself.

Belief is power

Henry Ford was reported to say “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t, you’re right.” 

Your brain is your greatest supporter and it will go to great lengths to search for and find evidence to support whatever you choose to believe.  It’s a mastermind in spin and whatever direction or path you choose, your mind will come up with reasons to justify that choice, even if it is a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn on a previous choice.  You can use this to your advantage and choose to believe you can achieve anything you want to, or you can be a victim of negativity and live life the hard way – it is a choice.

Invest in yourself

You are the most important person in your life and it is up to you to look after yourself first as a priority.  Think of it in the same way the flight attendants emphasis putting on your own oxygen mask first in their safety brief.  You can’t be the person you want to for others if you’re not looking after yourself.

Equally important is growing yourself as a person.  If you want to change your life in some way, you need to be prepared to learn what you don’t know yet in order to make those changes.  It doesn’t get anyone anywhere declaring ‘but I don’t know what to do’ or ‘I can’t’.  It’s up to you to invest in your own education, whatever age you are.  If you want a better life, you can learn any skills or knowledge you need to make that happen.  You are the architect of your own life, but if you don’t know what to do to change it, then you need to take action and learn, not sit by passively being a victim.

You can change…

any part of your life – if you want to.

Your brain is yours, it’s not some artificial entity you have no control over, you are pulling the strings, programming the outcome and directing the course of your life, but you may be doing it in a negative way right now that is repelling the opportunities you deserve.  If you don’t like the way your life is going, change it.  Don’t find things or people to blame for why you can’t – if you are happier, everyone in your life will benefit.  Change isn’t easy, it’s is hard at first, messy in the middle, but wonderful in the end.  The hardest step is the first step