Christmas Coping Strategies

‘Tis the season to be Jolly? Not for everyone. A recent study found that half of UK adults claim Christmas is the most stressful and anxiety-inducing time of the year. 16% of those surveyed said they would rather do their tax return than attend a family Christmas and 26% said it’s more draining than a job interview. Research by Mind has found one in ten people felt unable to cope at Christmas. Obligations to socialise, financial worries, family tensions, alcohol or food control concerns, so much to prepare and the desire to make the day perfect and keep everybody happy, it can all become overwhelming.

So, what can we do to help reduce this seasonal anxiety and perhaps even find some merriness?

Set Boundaries

We can find our social diaries filling and family pressure mounting up at this time of year at a time when we may already be feeling time poor, it can add to our stress buckets. Especially if we are naturally introverted and socialising is a challenge or if we see ourselves as ‘people pleasers. It is ok to say no or to change your mind. It is ok just to pop by and not stay too long. Erect some boundaries, look after yourself. It takes courage to put ourselves first but rather than being mean or selfish, establishing boundaries is an honest and integral way of meeting our own needs. If people get upset by our decision to take care of ourselves, that is their burden to bear. Take time to do what empties your bucket – walk in the woods, have a bubble bath, curl up and watch your favourite Christmas movie. This is your Christmas too, and if you feel stressed and exhausted you won’t have the resources left to be that jolly person you’d like to be. Make sure you prioritise yourself and practice saying no.

Reframe

When we talk about reframing what we mean is to look at something again and choose to see it in a different way, from a alternative perspective. I had a client once who was facing a house move. Everyone around her was reminding her how stressful the experience of moving was going to be. She decided to reject that idea, to reframe it as ‘busy but exciting’. She reported having a great few days feeling energised and relaxed and she got it all done in record time.  So many people have already decided that the whole of December is going to be frantic, they forecast being stressed and their brains oblige by achieving that for them. Decide to be different this year. Choose not to buy into the frenzied hype, the ‘are you ready for Xmas’ and ‘have you done all your shopping? All these questions increase our anxiety levels which in turn reduces our efficiency. Decide to step back and reframe your Christmas.

Positively forecast

Focus on the you that you want to be at Christmas. How do you want to feel? How would you know you had achieved that? What would you be doing differently? Who would notice?  Imagine yourself, as vividly as you can, being the you that you wish to be. Rehearse it in your mind. We call our imagination the rehearsal room to reality. The more vividly and detailed we can imagine how we wish to be, the more likely it is we achieve it. Focus on what you want (I want to be calm) not what you don’t want (I don’t want to be stressed).

And on a final note: Try not to aim too high Perfection is very rarely needed. Just buy the pastry, no one will care or probably even notice. Oh, and remember to exercise in any way you enjoy. It does wonders to declutter a busy mind.

Merry Christmas and a Happy 2023  from Old Town Hypnotherapy