Strategy 10 – Keep your eyes on the prize
Keep your eyes on the prize. Let go of the small things and sit back from the oars from time to time, be aware that you are in fact steering just subtly from the back of the boat.
As explained in the introduction, control freaks don’t intend to be difficult just to annoy you, most of the time they’re not even aware that they change or contradict every single decision you make, it is just a personality type that you need to learn how to work with to get the decision you want. Going at it head on will create conflict because they love conflict and they have to win, their decision is right – but what if that decision is yours, they just don’t know it.
Let them make the decision you want on your behalf and be the ‘front man/woman’ of the decision.
It is the end result which is important, how you get there doesn’t really matter and if you get the Control Freaks in your life working with you instead of fighting them all the time, life will be easier, more fun, less stressed and happier and they will love you to bits and do anything for you.
It’s not about you
As a final thought, remember it is just how they are, it’s not about you. When you feel criticised in some way, the automatic reaction is to become defensive, but control freaks have a way of being direct that can be misconstrued as critical when in fact it is just the way they speak to anyone and they can happily accept people speaking to them in the same way, they don’t take it personally.
Tomorrow we conclude with a summary of how to win over and manage controlling people without conflict.