This week, I want to ask you a question?
Are you too sensitive?
Do other people or other things upset you too much?
Do problems in your family or with work colleagues or relationships worry you.
Do you find you’re thinking about it all the time and can’t get other people’s comments, thoughts or actions off your mind?
It could be that you are too sensitive.
When we worry about things we focus on the negative and that negative thinking is converted into anxiety. As our anxiety levels rise, we start to moving from the intellectual part of our brain that is happy, confident, in control, secure and calm to the primitive part of our brain which is anxious, angry, miserable and negative.
This primitive part, the part we share with other animals and the anxiety about what might or might not happen activates our flight or fight mechanism; once this is activated we start producing adrenalin and then this encourages us to focus on problems even more.
Your flight or fight systems are all about keeping you safe; they’re about YOU, not anyone else, so it will make everything about you and put you at the centre of the attention. This might seem harmless and would have been entirely appropriate back in the primitive times, but these days it is behaves inappropriately and when we are too sensitive, we will translate everything that is happening around us, conversations and or events into being about us causing even more anxiety.
Back in those primitive times our lives would have been about ‘eat or be eaten’, ‘kill or be killed’, it was about your survival, but it’s not necessarily the appropriate part of your brain to be operating from in modern day life. In fact, unless you are actually in some sort of crisis, emergency or danger, it isn’t the appropriate part. As humans we have been given an amazing intellectual brain that has made us such a dominant species, it’s the part of our brain that problem solves, comes up with solutions and thinks rationally. However, if your anxiety levels have risen and you are working from the primitive part instead, your brain will think in terms of all or nothing and make everything about you.
For example: You call a friend or a partner who sounds a bit offish on the phone, if you are operating from the primitive part, you might think “Oh, they sound a bit odd, have I upset them, have I said something wrong, are they annoyed with me?” You will make it about you. The reality is, they might just be watching something on TV in the background or you have phoned them when they are focusing on something else and they’re not giving you their full attention at that particular moment, but instead of dismissing it, you will start to worry it’s about you.
A similar example – Say your boss calls you into a meeting at work and says “Emma, can you come and see me at 2pm in my office” you’re going to instantly worry that you’re going to be reprimanded, your imagination will search for reasons to make it about you, looking for something you might have forgotten to do or might have done wrong. In reality perhaps your boss wants to give you a special project to do, the fact is you don’t know why he/she wants to see you, but instantly your brain will go straight to the negative and your anxiety levels rise.
If your imagination does this, it is a good indicator that you are working from your primitive brain and too sensitive. You would benefit from learning how to reactivate to your intellectual brain so you don’t jump to negative conclusions.
It is very important for you to operate from your intellect to stay calm, in control, focused, happy and thinking rationally and it’s your job to keep you on this part of the brain.
The three ways you do this are:-
Those are the three things you can do to help yourself and if you practice them, you will find the way that is best for you. We are all individual and all unique and what is most effective for one person might not be the best for someone else, so it’s important to discover what is right for you to help you operate at your best and let go of anxiety and depression.
If you would like to know more or get some help, if you haven’t already done so, you can arrange a free initial consultation at one of our branches or if that’s not convenient for you, there are e-guides and video courses available to help.
Always feel free to get in touch.